Dabangg (2010)

Ladies and gentlemen, it’s official. Salman Khan is the new Rajnikanth. Move over, aged Robot, and take that flimsy toupee with you. If 2009’s superhero action-hero flick Wanted wasn’t enough, Salman Khan’s biceps returned to gravity-defying action avatar in Dabangg. Legions of Salman Khan fans must be sighing in relief as to the rustic Zandu Balm the film was [let’s face it, this is no Guzaarish], but those still reeling from a bad Wanted hangover must have avoided this film like the plague.

Well, here’s a thought: don’t. Proudly presenting: the top five reasons you should watch Dabangg.

1. The Plot, or every drama you’ve seen on Star Plus, the ‘70s edition:

Set in Uttar Pradesh, Dabangg tells the [tired?] tale of Chulbul Pandey aka ‘Bad-Ass Robin Hood’ [Salman Khan], a fearless but corrupt police officer with unorthodox working methods. [Crime, masala, dishum-dishum quota filled right there. Front-benchers, rejoice!] Chulbul has had a bitter childhood. [Oh, duh. I mean, oh, no.] His father passed away when he was very young, after which his mother [Dimple Kapadia] married Prajapati Pandey [Vinod Khanna]. Together, they had a son Makhanchan [Arbaaz Khan] whom pita parmeshwar seems to favour – [hello, step-brother, forever-anguished maa, evil stepfather, it’s the Mumbai noir version of Cinderella! And who doesn’t love Disney?]

Chulbul decides to take control of his destiny and detaches himself from his step-father and half-brother. His sole attachment is his mother. However, after his mother’s demise and an unsuccessful attempt to mend wounds, Chulbul breaks all ties with his step-father and half-brother. Enter Rajo [Sonakshi Sinha], with her unique perspective of life, who turns his life upside down. Chulbul starts to see life more positively and also gets sensitized to the value of a family. But his detractors, especially the dubious Cheddi Singh [Sonu Sood], have their own vested interests and emerge as spokes in the wheels, putting one brother against the other. Makhanchan ends up carrying out an act oblivious to the consequences.

When Makhanchan realizes he has been used, he turns to Chulbul. Will Chulbul take his extended hand? Will the brothers be able to thwart their detractors?’

Will you be able to count the many clichés in that synopsis? Barring the sheer ludicrousness of the plot, which makes 2010’s Vivek Oberoi starrer Prince – It’s Showtime feel like Schindler’s List, the action sequences are kind of brilliant in all their kitsch glory, the dialoguebaazi and dramaybaazi are flat out phenomenal [and unintentionally hilarious, but still], the pace is frenetic – and most importantly, the film never takes itself seriously [like the unfortunate Veer did].

2. Chuck Norris, whoops, I mean, Salman Khan:

Having watched this film, I can now safely make the following claims:
When Salman Khan looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Salman Khan and Salman Khan.

There is no such thing as Global Warming. It’s all Salman, baby.

The square root of Salman Khan is broken bones.

Salman Khan eats pain for breakfast.

Salman Khan has more testosterone than Lady Gaga.

When Salman Khan goes to sleep, he doesn’t count sheep. He eats them.

The Matrix Trilogy would’ve ended with the first one if only Keanu Reeves had said: ‘I know Salman Khan.’

Salman Khan registered his name as a deadly weapon.

Yoda’s mentor Salman Khan was.

Milk never expires for Salman Khan.

Salman Khan can kill two birds with no stone.

The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Salman Khan. There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage.

Salman Khan doesn’t wear a watch; he decides what time it is.

Salman can eat just one Lay’s potato chip.

The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Salman Khan has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.

Salman Khan frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.

Seriously, though. Not since the Amitabh Bachchan [of the ‘70s] has an actor been able to epitomize the angry-yet-stoic-young-man; Salman breathes fire into every dialogue the scriptwriter throws his way with gleeful abandon. This is Salman at his most unrestrained; shirt-ripping a la Hulk included in the package. He plays the masses like Mozart. Poor debutant Sonakshi [Shatrughan Sinha’s daughter]. She never really stood a chance in this film. Come to think of it, neither did the rest of the actors.

3. ‘Munni Badnaam’ – the Malaika Factor

Can you say item-number-of-the-year? Though Salman Khan going ghetto on the streets of UP with his real-life sister-in-law Malaika Arora: awkward much? This just in: Munni being threatened by ‘Sheila Ki Shakira-esque Jawani’ [Katrina Kaif in Tees Maar Khan], so watch Malaika strut it out in all her backless choli glory, preferably in HD – before Munni goes from badnaam to benaam.

Oh, and the rest of the score is visually enticing [not to mention, easy on the ears - which is more than I can say about the We Are Family - or The Elvis Presley Massacre soundtrack] as well. Picks: ‘Tere Mast Mast Do Nain’, ‘Hud Hud Dabangg’ and ‘Humka Peeni Hai’. But Munni = 2 kewl.

4. “Hum Yahan Ke Robin Hood Hain. Robin Hood Pandey”: The Dialogues

Sonakshi ne Salman se kaha: “Thapad se darr nahi lagta sahab – par pyaar se lagtaa hai” – the frontbencher throwback to “Kaanton ko murjhaane ka khauf nahi hota” [Mughal-e-Azam]?

“Kamini se yaad aaya….Pandey ji..apki biwi kaisi hai?” – Major LOL moment.

Salman [really, who else?]: “Hum tumri jaan mein itna ched karenge, itna ched karenge ke confuse ho jao gay – ke saans kahan se ley aur paade kahan se” – okay, gross, but classic.

“Police waale ko thokne ka anjaam pata hai kya? Ikkis [21] saal jail aur thukkai alag se… Aur ussi police waale ne agar tumhe thokka, toh promotion alag se aur bahaduri ka medal bhi.” – really sums up the scope and feel of the modern police force, doesn’t it?

Practice your seeti-bajaana-skills, folks. Every scene has a college-campus-quotable.

5. Umm, I’m sorry, do you need a fifth reason?

Action, masala, romanchuk scenes, comedy, isshstunts, melodrama: Dabangg has it all. You want a Bollywood fill for 2010, this movie will suffice. Be warned, though: Dabangg isn’t groundbreaking by any standards, nor will it change your life. Unless it does. In a nutshell: Go. Watch. Dabangg. Now. Who knows, you might be able to prevent the 2012 apocalypse, as predicted by the Mayan calendar – Osman Khalid Butt

Rating – 3.5 out of 5

Cast and Production Credits

Year – 2010, Genre – Action/Drama, Country – India, Language – Hindi, Producer –Arbaaz Khan, Malaika Arora, Dhilin Mehta, Director –Abhinav Kashyap, Music Director – Sajid-Wajid, Cast - Salman Khan, Sonu Sood, Arbaaz Khan, Sonakshi Sinha, Mahie Gill, Vinod Khanna, Dimple Kapadia, Om Puri, Anupam Kher, Tinu Anand, Mahesh Manjrekar, Amitosh Nagpal, Murli Sharma

Action Replayy (2010)

Is there more to Vipul Shah’s take on Back To The Futuresque film than just the item number ‘Zor Ka Jhatka’, or is Aishwarya looking attractive in a jumpsuit all that we can look forward to? All these questions and more can and will be answered by watching Action Replayy (AR), the latest work of the man who has brought us films like Aankhen, London Dreams, and Namastey London.

AR is a film about, it seems, marital disputes and the affect they can have on the offspring. In Bunty’s (Aditya Kapur) case, the effect is that of him never wanting to get married. His parents’ fights aren’t just arguments that end in one or the other making up with their partner, but rather with Akshay Kumar becoming more long-suffering and Aishwarya Rai shopping some more. Speaking of whom, it was a good call to style her as a tricked out older woman rather than a sad woman trapped in a bad marriage with her roots showing. Score a point for the stylist of the film. Speaking of which…

AR builds a lot of its foundation on the fact that it is set in the ‘70s. The sets, with Mumbai spots being refurbished to look new (or to look like they exist again), are groovy. It’s always fun to watch a period piece, simply because it is interesting to note how many details from those times can be recreated, and for someone who has never been to India except for the old family photos and old Hindi cinema, AR is a treat to watch as it creates some of that ambience you see in older Indian films. Old Indian movies always featured those old Ambassadors and the homes that just somehow look different from the houses we are used to seeing now, and the essence of another time is captured well in AR.

Then there are the costumes. They might not be exactly what the girls wore back in the day, but they are strongly based on the idea of what they did wear, only seemingly more stylish somehow, which means the clothes have somewhat been played with to appeal to the sensibilities of a new century.

Also, how can anyone resist a film with time travel (as in the Back To The Future trilogy?) Or a really not so serious take on sci-fi (as in Honey I Shrunk The Kids)? Both make for really good means to while away time, without having to invest too much of your brain into the plot, the character development or the subtle nuances of great cinema. Although BTTF was great cinema, no two ways about it. Anyway, AR does a lot of that pleasantly mindless entertainment thing, and though it sometimes seems like the film is being carried upon Aditya Kapur’s fairly new Bollywood existence, that’s not entirely a bad thing.

Aditya has previously starred in London Dreams, and has a pretty chunky role in AR. He is the son, the best friend and the cool guy who coaches his dad on how to be equally cool and win the heart of the object of his affection. Only in AR, Bunty, as the son has to first make his father think/ feel that the pretty girl next door, Mala, with the attributes of your local badmaash is in fact the object of his affection.

Mala, played by the stoniest woman known to mankind, Aishwarya Rai, actually manages to be…not so Aishwarya for once. Yes, the high pitched voice is in place, as is Aishwarya’s penchant to not look sad or affronted even when she is, but there are times she actually breaks out of all the usual trappings and really slides into her role of someone who enjoys picking on the effeminate Kishen (Akshay Kumar). This is Aishwarya’s other release this month, along with Guzaarish, and it seems that she is totally on an acting high with both, even though AR isn’t rated as high as Guzaarish.

Akshay Kumar is pretty funny as usual. His comic timing is excellent and he works well with Bunty’s character. The actors all play off each other and each one is endearing in their own way – even Neha Dhupia, who has perhaps the smallest part in the film.

That said, AR keeps up the humour factor pretty steadily except for the few times that it falters. The jokes are not Hera Pheri funny, but they still induce smiles and chuckles. AR builds itself a sweet momentum, but then doesn’t know where to go with it – Amina Baig

Rating – 3 out of 5

Cast and Production Credits

Year – 2010, Genre – Comedy/Drama, Country – India, Language – Hindi, Producer – Vipul Shah, Director – Vipul Shah, Music Director – Pritam Chakraborty, Cast - Akshay Kumar, Aishwarya Rai Bachchan, Randhir Kapoor, Neha Dhupia, Kiron Kher, Om Puri, Rannvijay Singh, Aditya Roy Kapoor, Sudeepa Singh, Rajpal Yadav

Mithun Chakraborty in Disco Dancer (1982)

Disco Dancer is one of those films that I had known about for years before I saw it. People often quoted it as a truly kitsch film and I had heard the songs (by Bappi Lahiri, ‘the R. D. Burman of the B-movies’ according to the Encyclopaedia of Indian Cinema) and seen them as clips on television featuring Mithun Chakraborty, dressed in white trousers and lame, certainly a different image from that I knew from his work in ‘art’ cinema. He has subsequently become king of the B-movies, taking only the occasional small role in mainstream films. The songs were catchy enough but already dated when I heard them, the disco era being well and truly over in London by the 1980s. Aware of the film’s cult status as a B-movie, I initially viewed it to consider it as one of the few items for inclusion that are not from the A-list.

The film’s story is by the respected Dr Rahi Masoom Reza, whose credits include B. R. Chopra’s television serialisation of the great epic, the Mahabharata, as well as several other films. Following the revenge theme of many post-1970s’ movies, the child Anil, a budding musician, and his mother are framed for stealing by a wealthy neighbour, Mr Oberoi (Om Shivpuri). Anil vows to exact his revenge through his music and as an adult (Mithun Chakraborty) soon displaces Oberoi’s son, Sam, as the King of Disco. He meanwhile falls in love with Oberoi’s daughter, Rita (Kim), with whom he played as a child. His manager David (Om Puri) changes Anil’s name to Jimmy and he becomes a national phenomenon. Oberoi keeps trying to have Jimmy killed but Jimmy is also a kung fu (if his moves can be called that) expert. When Jimmy’s mother dies, electrocuted by a guitar intended for him, he gives up his music (he is said to be suffering from ‘guitar phobia’), but his uncle (a guest appearance by 1970s’ superstar, Rajesh Khanna) persuades him to take it up again and he and Rita dance into the future.

After the titles play out on a glitter ball, the songs include Kishore Kumar’s ‘Ae oh aa zara mudke’ and the memorable ‘Auva auva koi yahaan nache’ (sung by Usha Uthup and Bappi Lahiri), with Kalpana lyer shimmering in shorts, ankle boots and what only can be described as Christmas-tree tinsel. The picturisations are nearly all set in discos with underlit floors and feature ungainly backing singers, while the lead dancers also make some odd moves. The title track, ‘I am a Disco Dancer’, is better seen than heard, with Mithun dressed in a very strange outfit (part-Donny Osmond, part-Elvis) performing fancy footwork. In ‘Krishna dharti pe aa jaa tu’, the male and female dancers appear to be dressed as angels for a school Christmas pantomime.

There are some strange touches, such as the depiction of the romance between Rita and Jimmy as a series of photomontages and the scene showing how, when Jimmy’s mother dies, his photograph cracks and dissolves to the burning of her pyre.

So is this film more than just a piece of 1970s’ (even though made in the 1980s) nostalgic kitsch? I think it typifies a move into the low-budget B-movie that finds its own audience during the 1980s, as the middle classes leave the cinema halls for the VHS and color television. It is also worth watching for Mithun. Initially a serious actor, and one who could have pursued a successful career in A-grade Hindi movies (he landed major, though supporting, roles in films such as Agneepath [1989]), he chose instead to live in Ooty (Ootacamund, a hill station in south India) and appear in low-budget movies that produce good returns from the B-circuit. He turns in a good performance in the film and possesses a physique that makes him a convincing dancer and fighter.

Cast and Production Credits

Year – 1982, Genre – Drama/Musical, Country – India, Language – Hindi, Producer – B. Subhash, Director – B. Subhash, Music Director – Bappi Lahiri, Cast - Geeta Siddharth, Om Shivpuri, Mithun Chakraborty, Kim, Om Puri, Kalpana Iyer, Rajesh Khanna