Madhubala in Mahal (1949)

Bombay Talkies Mahal is a story of ghosts, spooks, apparitions, jitters, quivers, bats and snakes. It succeeds in giving one the creeps, but through more causes than one. In the initial stage the spine tingling chill of weird horror which slowly creeps down one’s back is because of the masterly genius ace cameraman Josef Wirsching whose brilliant use of the camera imparts to Mahal that dreaded foreboding of evil and terror which lurks there. But later on the cold shiver of fear which one experiences is the cumulative effect of director Kamal Amrohi’s excursion into the realms of meta-physics. In trying to tackle the subject of reincarnation Kamal Amrohi, to use the cricket parlance, merely swung the bat in the empty air. I give full credit to him for the daring and initiative that he has shown in taking up such a subject. But daring and initiative without good sense and logic are like boiled potatoes with out pepper and salt. In it’s final analysis Kamal Amrohi has failed in Mahal for the simple reason that the innumerable movie goers who go into fits of rapture over Mahal are still unable to cite a reason for their appreciation, except mumble a few words about the enthralling realism of it’s weird atmosphere. But that is a wonderful tribute to Wirsching and not to Amrohi.

According to me the greatness of Mahal as a picture lies in the towering achievement of Wirsching who photographed it. If the critics rave about it and the public applauds it, then it is because of Josef Wirsching, the wizard with the lens who has made of Mahal a milestone in the annals of the Indian film industry. The magic of his camera, has through the witchery of it’s crafts imparted to Mahal an atmosphere of awe and wonder. The fluttering curtains, banging doors, shaking chandeliers, fleeting shadows on the wall have all been so vividly captured on the celluloid that it throws a grim mantle of mystery over Mahal.

But now coming to Kamal Amrohi’s role in the picture as a director I fail to perceive any noteworthy part which he has played in the creation of Mahal, except for the boundless opportunity which he gave to Wirsching to exhibit his talents and prowess in his own field. One would have preferred a more sensible and logical solution of the mystery than the drivelling gamut of reincarnation which badly cripples whatever interest audience may have held in the story. From the moment Amrohi strove to bring the three generations hobnobbing into the picture he missed the mark and in trying to hit an overbound he failed to contact the ball.

In the first half of the picture the eerie atmosphere fits in well with the mood and the events depicted. But from the moment Vijaylaxmi steps in and Ashok Kumar drags her through an interminable process of climbing and panting, does Mahal from a well balanced picture suddenly merges into a blood curdling boredom, which, as I have already mentioned, also gives one a cold fright.

The most glaring inconsistency in the story was the letter written by Vijaylaxmi, in the role of Ashok Kumar’s wife, to her sister-in-law confiding the secret of suicide to her. If she wished her husband to die because of her false confession than why did she write that letter thus, most obviously ruining her own plans? Then again how did the last letter of Vijaylaxmi went to dead letter office when all others were delivered safely? Obviously to bring about the court scene and other following scenes which would otherwise could never have been presented as Amrohi wanted.

Kamal Amrohi’s idea of a Dak Bungalow seems to be a dilapidated broken down, dusty and inhabitable shack, nestling precariously on what seems to be a mountain. Its only dwellers appear to be bats, snakes and cobwebs. Such gross and blatant ignorance is ridiculous and Amrohi would have done better to see what a Dak Bungalow looks like before depicting it in Mahal. Granting even for the sake of argument that Dak Bungalows are a battleground for bat and snake fights and that this particular one was not inhabited for a long time, then one would question as to how a well regulated clock giving correct time happened to be there?

Ashok Kumar and Madhubala have both given the finest performance of their careers, thus adding extra luster to their already shining reputation. The rest of the cast including Vijaylaxmi, Kanu Roy, and Kumar did their parts well.

If only Amrohi had left spiritualism  alone and wound up this mystery melodrama in a normal way, Mahal would have become the finest picture to come out of the Indian film industry.

Music by the late Mr. Khemchand Prakash was most melodious. Songs were well composed and dialogues were written intelligently. The defect of Mahal lay in it’s mystic phenomena. Kamal Amrohi’s direction was both brilliant and deft.

Mahal is an unusual picture. By all means it is worth a visit if only to see the superb photography of Josef Wirsching and to indulge in the luxury of seeing something new on the Indian screen. (The Motion Picture Magazine, December 1950)

Cast and Production Credits

Year – 1949, Genre – Mystery/Thriller, Country – India, Language – Hindi, Producer – Bombay Talkies,  Director –Kamal Amrohi, Music Director – Khemchand Prakash, Cast - Madhubala, Vijayalaxmi, Kumar, Kanu Roy, S. Nazir, E. Tarapore, Sheela Naik, Neelam, Ashok Kumar

Hisss (2010)

Once the movie has ended (if you have managed to actually watch it till it ends) the only thing anybody would say is: “what the hell was that?!”

Perhaps the fact that Hisss has an international female director created high expectations from the movie. Also, we were excited to see Mallika back on Bollywood screens after her surprising success in Hollywood. Finally, if you have a beautiful woman shedding clothes after every few seconds, quite a lot of people are bound to be looking forward to watching the movie out of curiosity.

Therefore it’s no surprise that the movie actually generated 6 crores on its opening weekend at the box office. But one thing has been reinstated by these results: Box office reports are rubbish. Hisss has proven to be a walking talking disaster, and anyone who has been brave enough to watch it till the very end needs to be given a medal of honour.

The plot itself isn’t so silly, therefore we won’t be so hard on the script writer. However, the director and the script writer are both the same. We are still trying to figure out what Jennifer Chambers Lynch was thinking.

The story revolves around a snake, who turns into a woman after her lover is captured in the jungle. She infiltrates the city to find the American, George States, who had kidnapped her mate. This man himself has brain cancer, and believes old myths which say that the nagin (Mallika Sherawat) has powerful venom which can help cure his disease.

In an attempt to lure her into his web, he kidnaps her mate from the jungle itself. What unfolds in the movie is how she follows him into the city, to find her love, and to seek vengeance.

Doesn’t sound so bad right? In fact, it sounds quite interesting; It actually sounds like a tragic love story. But don’t be fooled, the movie instead is an unnecessarily gruesome horror/thriller flick. Don’t watch it while eating food.

Hisss is filled with unnecessary rape scenes and bloodshed. Without exaggeration, there is blood in every scene, whether it has anything to do with the nagin or not. Everybody seems to be bleeding all the time!
Then there is lack of acting skills displayed by the prominent characters in the story. The American, (Jeff Doucette) is a monster in the movie. He is torturing and slaughtering everyone and everything that comes his way. Unfortunately, he can’t act.  We don’t think he has cancer in the movie, he looks like a psychologically handicapped person.

Plus he seems to enter a Star Plus land, where he is thinking to himself in his broken down Urdu (it’s weird that even when is thinking in his mind, he is thinking in Urdu even though he can barely speak the language properly. But during the movie, he is screaming and hurling abusive words in English to his servants.) We understand that maybe it was to capture the Indian audience that doesn’t understand English. But then, why put English sentences at all? It all seemed highly unrealistic
Plus Irfan Khan looked like he kept forgetting his dialogues. The man is a brilliant actor, and has done some amazing performances such as the one in Slumdog Millionaire, and The Namesake. Then why can’t he act as an Indian police officer, which is the most clichéd role in all of Bollywood?

Finally, the star of the show: Ms Mallika herself. She has done nothing in the movie, except not wear clothes and look possessed. We aren’t kidding; the nudity has been turned up a notch. Okay, so she is a snake who doesn’t know anything about human rituals, but then the nudity could have been tastefully done.  Instead, there are scenes where you are taken by surprise and are almost embarrassed to look back at the screen.

The movie has been edited poorly. They have tried to run two, three stories simultaneously to build up the plot, but all they managed to build up was confusion. First 30 minutes, and you aren’t sure which story to follow. Finally everything links up in the end in the most unrealistic and impossible way.

The movie will definitely have people laughing at the blatant absurdity of everything! There is nothing in the script or the acting that was normal. We are surprised that there is so much money in Bollywood to be wasted away like this.

Another thought that crossed our minds was that maybe this is a parody; maybe this isn’t the real thing. How could the directors overlook how silly everything was? Maybe that’s why the director has actually disowned the movie. When in the history of film-making has a director disowned his own movie?

Jennifer claims that the movie looks like a horror movie instead of the epic love story she wanted to make.
Apparently, the producer is to be blamed for this. The ‘original’ movie that was shot by Jennifer herself was much different from what the producer, Govind Menon, made it look like in the end.

Even though the movie has already received some extremely harsh criticism from critics, Hisss is being considered a hit. Mallika Sherawat claims that the ‘younger generation’ has appreciated her, and it doesn’t matter what the critics say. Sorry Mallika, but that isn’t true. Some of the critics and media people are from the younger generation too, and even they think the movie was rubbish.

We wouldn’t recommend anyone to watch this. The only thing you’ll get is a bunch of nightmares – Manal Faheem Khan

Rating:- 1 out of 5

Cast and Production Credits

Year – 2010, Genre – Horror / Thriller, Country – India, Language – Hindi, Producer – Vikram Singh, Govind Menon, William Sees Keenan Director – Jennifer Lynch, Music Director – Anu Malik, David Kushner, Panjabi MC, Alexander Von Bubenheim, Craig Nobles, Julian Lennon, Cast - Irrfan Khan, Mallika Sherawat, Divya Dutta, Jeff Douchette

Ek Second...Jo Zindagi Badal De... (2010)

Cleverly nestled between an I Hate Luv Storys and Rajneeti trailer was a 30 second promo on local cable – ‘Fasale Bahara Hoon Mai’ was the name of the track, which saw former Femina Miss India Nikita Anand seducing a frigid [gasp!] Moammar Rana in Bollywood’s answer to Punjabi/Pashto pulp. The English lyrics of the track go something like this: “Gonna rule me up?/ Wanna take a ride?/ C’mon let’s do it! Take away!/ Ooh waah-ee-yeah! [x4]” I mean, she ripped his goddamn Rupa banyan off whilst he stoically stared into the distance à la war veteran. ‘Sangdil Sharara’ indeed. Ek Second…Jo Zindagi Badal De was the name of the movie, and a trip to the local DVD shop revealed the film had released. Feeling either a) like Indiana Jones, the movie connoisseur equivalent of, b) Sadomasochistic, c) in the mood for a quick laugh, d) all of the above, I decided to brave a screening of the rather unknown [B-movie?] flick.

The Plot, or Gwyneth Paltrow’s Sliding Doors meets – gaah, Brain has Dissolved: Raashi [Manisha Koirala, a shadow of her Dil Se, Bombay & Khamoshi self], fiancé of hot-shot novelist Shantanu Roy [Moammar Rana], is a perpetual procrastinator, but the producers would have us believe she is destiny’s child – ‘ek second’ late for Roy’s book launch, ‘ek second’ [well, actually she was an hour late, but oh well] late for important presentation at office – which gets her fired. Within the first ten minutes, we’re brainwashed into believing ‘ek second’ can really screw us over. On her way back, at a metro station, she is unable to board the train [sound familiar?], and this is where we’re taken on a journey of two parallel universes – the Raashi that managed to board the train, and catch Roy two-timing her with psychotic Tamanna [Nikita Anand], and her track thereafter with Yuvraaj [Jackie Shroff] and Rozza – versus the Raashi that didn’t. In one version, she’s extremely successful, in the other, she’s shown struggling with her life. And here’s the kicker: the moral of the story is supposed to be that whatever is written in one’s destiny happens in one way or the other. And don’t worry, if you feel confused, you have an annoying narrator practically spoon-feeding you the plot throughout.

Background check on director Partho Ghosh revealed masterpieces of Indian cinema such as Meri Life Mai Uski Wife, Mr. Hot Mr. Kool, Chetna – The Excitement [?!]‘, and – wait, Agnisakshi Ghulam-e-Mustafa? But – those were half-decent movies! The former, a remake of Sleeping With The Enemy, also featuring Manisha and Jackie Shroff, actually hit box office gold! Then – what went wrong here?

Actually, that’s a no-brainer. The screenplay = shoddy, with most of the dialogue lifted from Urdu SMS Shayeri/those stalker messages you get on Facebook. And practically no attention to detail.

First off: Moammar Rana, in the very first scene, is showcased launching his book ‘Destiny – a Journey’ at ‘Random’ Publish House – the invitation reads RPH Present’s ‘Destiny.’ Umm, you’re a publishing house. It’s called spell-check?! Then there’s the atrocious dialogue right at the onset, with Rana’s token ‘Pakistani’ friend Sam [a horrid, horrid Suniiel Singh] going: “Guzra hua waqt, nikli hui saansen kabhi wapis nahi aateen. Tujhe nahi lagta Raashi kuch zyaada hi late karrahi hai?” Yes, yes, we know the film’s about destiny and time and whatnot. Then there was Jackie Shroff’s introduction – Shroff’s role in the film is to act as Manisha’s knight in shining armor – “Qismat/Wismat kuch nahi madam. Fighter apni qismat banata hai. Fighter hamesha jeethta hai!” Manisha: “Hahaha, thank you, bye.” Oh, God. Sparks obviously fly, as Manisha later recounts to Moammar: “Really, a second can change life, Shaanu. Aaj mai marte marte bachi hoon. Agar ek second mai woh ajnabi farishta mujhe aa ke naa bachata..”

Then there was the first song, the aneurysm inducing ‘Hota Hai Har Faisala Ek Second Mai,’ featuring Suniiel [dubbed Fat Mithun from now on] gyrating with a bevy of Malaysian beauties. It’s an assault to the senses, a new low for singer Adnan Sami, and a great Truth or Dare challenge. I mean, publisher Fat Mithun moonlighting as cabaret lothario/Jiminy Cricket ['let your conscience be your guide' and all that]?! Epic fail! Nikita Anand, clearly with great potential [details later] is wasted in an insipid introduction as Glenn Close from Fatal Attraction wannabe. “Waisay tumhare saath ye nahi fuljari kaun hai? [Pointing to Manisha] Koi nayi fan ya koi nahi murghi?” Moammar: “Nahi ham jald shaadi karne wale hain.” “Oo lucky girl! Blah blah greatest novelist ne kissi ko apna life-partner banaya, blah blah waisay to sab bed-partners theen!” *Both giggle like schoolgirls.* And her Kajol-from-Gupt moment? “Ye Shaanu tumhara itni asaani se nahi hoga, Jaanu!” I’d shudder if I wasn’t, you know, laughing out so loud.

Poor, poor Moammar Rana. He pitches in earnest expressions throughout the film, but is once again let down by bizarre dialogue. Sample this, frustrated by the average response to his novel, he retorts: “duniya mai kayi log aye jinhon ne apni qismat ko challenge kiya. Hitler, Napoleon Bonaparte aur Sikandar jese log!”

Then comes the entire sequence where Manisha catches him doing the nasty with Nikita. Forget gut-wrenching, it was practically farcical. Moammar screams thrice, introduces other woman to fiancé, and Nikita goes: “oh forget it! C’mon Shaanu!”, later calling him a ‘delicious dish jo ham donon [Nikita and Manisha] mil ke half half khayen gay.’ It’d all be very poignant, if this were a Rob Schneider comedy – Osman Khalid Butt

Cast and Production Credits

Year – 2010, Genre – Thriller, Country – India, Language – Hindi, Producer – Rachna Sunil Singh, Director – Partho Ghosh, Music Director – Arvinder Singh, Sawan Kumar, Cast - Jackie Shroff, Manisha Koirala, Nikita Anand, Muammar Rana, Roza Catalano, Hanbir Malik, Suneil Singh